Perhaps I shouldn't barge in here since we don't know one another, but I'm quite fond of stories like the one you are trying to tell, and I think you're doing a nice job setting your story in motion.
I don't have younger siblings, but I am one, so perhaps I can offer a thought or two.
Have you decided why the witch wants to spoil this family's happiness? I really liked the fact that even something so mild as cheerfulness irritates her, but I wondered what might have happened to her to make her so hateful. Obviously, she's very powerful, the way she overpowers the poor woodsman and takes over his house. I especially liked the picture your words created of the roaring fire she built: it represents how powerful her magic is, doesn't it? And how dangerous she is. I wondered if she might be the sort of witch who burns her victims in her fire (or intends to do but doesn't succeed, since the best stories sometimes prevent their evil characters from carrying out the worst of their schemes).
I wondered, too, if the woodsman might be allowed to play a role at the end of the story. Perhaps the hero or heroine will release him from the witch's curse just in time for him to help call her to account at the end.
But more than all these things that I wondered about your characters, I wondered about the young brother and sister: are they fast friends or do they need to learn to appreciate one another? Are they naturally brave people, or will something happen in your story to make them realise they are cleverer and braver than they ever thought they could be? Does the sister have a character flaw she needs to work on or does the brother make a mistake or an error of judgement that he'll need to make up for? (Of course it could be the other way round: perhaps it's the sister who leaps to judgement and the brother who has some fault he needs to outgrow.)
I hope you will continue working on this story. It has lots of promise!
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Date: 2010-04-06 04:24 am (UTC)I don't have younger siblings, but I am one, so perhaps I can offer a thought or two.
Have you decided why the witch wants to spoil this family's happiness? I really liked the fact that even something so mild as cheerfulness irritates her, but I wondered what might have happened to her to make her so hateful. Obviously, she's very powerful, the way she overpowers the poor woodsman and takes over his house. I especially liked the picture your words created of the roaring fire she built: it represents how powerful her magic is, doesn't it? And how dangerous she is. I wondered if she might be the sort of witch who burns her victims in her fire (or intends to do but doesn't succeed, since the best stories sometimes prevent their evil characters from carrying out the worst of their schemes).
I wondered, too, if the woodsman might be allowed to play a role at the end of the story. Perhaps the hero or heroine will release him from the witch's curse just in time for him to help call her to account at the end.
But more than all these things that I wondered about your characters, I wondered about the young brother and sister: are they fast friends or do they need to learn to appreciate one another? Are they naturally brave people, or will something happen in your story to make them realise they are cleverer and braver than they ever thought they could be? Does the sister have a character flaw she needs to work on or does the brother make a mistake or an error of judgement that he'll need to make up for? (Of course it could be the other way round: perhaps it's the sister who leaps to judgement and the brother who has some fault he needs to outgrow.)
I hope you will continue working on this story. It has lots of promise!