May. 13th, 2015

alt_susan: (i have to look away)
I wish this was a proper letter where I could ask after you and Terry and Kevin (and Colin and Lisa and Mr Davidson and the others) but things are pretty mad around here as you can imagine so this is more by way of passing along a message than anything else.

I just had a really interesting talk with Megan. She was absolutely bursting to tell me how happy she was to read Draco's post and get the news about Sarah Fawcett. I'm sure she's read Harry's too though we didn't talk about him as such.

Anyhow she poured out to me about all the guilt she's carried (and it's not unjustified but I didn't know how deeply her regrets went) about Sarah's death. And then she said "Not that I'm asking exactly but--if I were asking--do you think there might be a way to get a message to Sarah somehow?"

And part of me wanted to go the route of protecting my cover and say something like "What makes you think I'd know?" But--it just seemed like a moment for trust. And truth. At least some trust and truth anyhow. So I allowed that I thought I probably knew someone who could get a message to Sarah. Since she hasn't got a journal of her own that person's you ;). I figured you could show it to Sarah (if you think she would want to see it--but Sarah's always seemed like someone who'd rather know about things than not) and Sarah could respond--or not. So this is Megan's note:

Sarah, it is Megan. I know I don't deserve even to talk with you because I betrayed you and got you killed. Only you didn't get killed and I am so glad. And I am so sorry for what I did, and I don't deserve for you to forgive me but I just wanted you to know that I am not like I was before and I am not doing what people like Umbridge say, and I would do anything to do all that over again. And I am so glad you are alive. I hope you have everything you need. And I am so sorry I did what I did, and if those Order of the Phoenix people got you to a safe place then I owe them more than I will ever have. I am so glad you are alive. - Megan

I really wanted to show Megan the Galleon at least; but I couldn't without breaking the oath.
alt_susan: (pondering)
In case you were wondering why Megs was studying you so intently over dinner...she's trying to figure out if you're a member of the Order of the Phoenix.

Backing the broom up a bit...this afternoon she mentioned that she really wanted to talk. I thought I had a pretty good idea what she wanted to talk about since she and Harry are friendly; but I actually hadn't tossed the Quaffle in the ring quite as much as I thought I had.

What Megs was really on fire about was Draco's post--and especially the revelation that Sarah Fawcett was alive! It still weighs on her greatly--the things she did under Umbridge's influence I mean. And hearing about Sarah just. It transformed her. It's hard for me to explain.

And the conversation sort of wove around to asking me if I knew anyone who'd know how to get a message to Sarah. And I said I that did. I sort of wish I'd been able to pull out the Galleon & show her; both because that'd be something tangible I could share and because hopefully she'd not think we had any other kind of message-passing capability. But of course I couldn't.

And she said she wondered if you were in the Order of the Phoenix because as far as she knew you were the only person she'd ever told about Strangeweale's orders. I sort of laughed and said that if you were you were doing a good job hiding it! But that's Megs all over--memory like an elephant and dead observant and perceptive sometimes.

Oh and she was anxious to let me know that whatever else I might know--she didn't want to know if it would be dangerous to us; she has a real horror of ever betraying someone again (even accidentally). She assured me she wouldn't say a word to Ernie about it (and he's the only person who's not one of us that I could imagine her wanting to tell). But evidently she hasn't stopped trying to figure you out.

She's also thoroughly frightened of Hydra's legilimency so Hydra's image as a scary Councilwizard is definitely intact with someone.

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Susan Bones

September 2015

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